Evaporated (100-words, Flash Friday)

“Get off of this bus this instant, young lady!” Mommy stood in the aisle clenching her lips into a hard red line and tapping a high heeled leg.
“Momma, I can’t I just can’t he’s out there.”
“Come on lady, get your kid moving, some of us have a job to go to,” someone yelled.
“Oh pipe down, you. Stacey Marie Thompson if this is about that little boy from school who’s a little odd, I do not want to hear it. Get up and get off the bus, now.”
So I did and now she’s gone.
Written for the 100 word challenge photo prompted challenge that Madison Wood hosts every Friday. Check it out to find what others have written up for this, great place to find awesome 100 word flash fiction and also to contribute your own.


5 comments on “Evaporated (100-words, Flash Friday)

  1. eliserae says:

    Yeah, that kid looks so angry in the picture. Excellent little snippet.


    (Here’s mine: http://eliseschapira.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/here-for-you/)

  2. I thought that kid was evil. Good mother-daughter conflict interaction to carry the reader through the story. Well done!
    Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

  3. justlyd says:

    Seriously, I didn’t even notice the kid at first, I was all wrapped into the conductor and a little frustrated trying to come up with a story for him- my husband noticed the kid and came up with a different story(the kid has run away from home and needs to go on the bus but has no money) and that made me notice him

  4. Madison Woods says:

    Great story and very good dialogue! The interaction between the parent and child is realistic and I liked that. Thanks for joining us this week!

Talk to Me:)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s